


the universe & u (i am me, the universe & u)

by artemisbreathe



Series: the art of loving you [3]
Category: The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Boys In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Young Love, achilles is a cinnamon roll, achilles won the olympics twice, angsty fluff, author will protect patrochilles at all costs, dangerous pregnancy, diomedes is basically a junkie but I love him, greek boys in love, kinda soulmates au, pat and Achilles are already married in this, patroclus can be stupid sometime, risky pregnagncy, soft achilles, they are all drunk at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 13:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisbreathe/pseuds/artemisbreathe
Summary: “Excuse me, I have a what that is capable of doing what and I am what?”"You have a uterus that is perfectly capable of carrying children, as you are right as we speak two months and a half pregnant.”“I fucking told you a thousand times that I should be the top, but no, you like the feeling of my ass around your fucking d- ““We’re having a baby. A-a fucking baby.”orthe kinda angsty mpreg patrochilles au none asked for but i decided to do anyway
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus, Ajax the greater/ajax the lesser, Ἑλένη | Helen of Troy/Μενέλαος | Menelaos | Menelaus (Hellenistic Religion & Lore)
Series: the art of loving you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1526735
Kudos: 23





	the universe & u (i am me, the universe & u)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this sucks but i had this idea while i was completely wasted and watching twilight with my friends. hope u enjoy! xx

If you asked Achilles how he ended up in his own bathroom crying his heart out at 3am holding two positive pregnancy tests while he was highly drunk, he’d tell you he has no idea. Truth is, it all started as a joke.

It was a Saturday night, Achilles and Patroclus decided to host a game night at their home with their friends, Menelaus, Briseis, Odysseus (unfortunately without Penelope, who couldn’t come), Diomedes and the two Ajaxes (who had become a couple a prior months before, who would’ve ever thought?). Indeed, all of them being pretty young and having just finished a very stressful week, they all got drunk, extremely drunk, and they were all showing it.

Take Patroclus for example, when he’s sober he’s the shiest person alive, who’d blush even because of Achilles kissing him, but when drunk, he becomes a little bit horny. And it was happening right in that moment, Patroclus was on Achilles’ lap making out with him (not that he was complaining!) and even if the two times Olympics winner usually was the angry kind of drunk, he was happy.

Meanwhile, a mess was going on in their living room. Menelaus was drunk calling his ex girlfriend, Helen and talking to her voicemail crying (they had broken up the year prior, yet he still wasn’t over it.). Diomedes in addiction to drinking had smoked weed, and he was staring at the void mumbling some incomprehensible words. Ajax and the-other-Ajax were slow dancing to God’s Plan in the center of the living room, whispering each other obscenities they’d do to the other once they got home in their ears. Odysseus instead, was calmly seated on a chair next to Briseis, talking for the infinitieth time about his girlfriend, Penelope, to the dark-skinned girl, who, at that point, was just trying to drown herself in tequila not to die of boredom.

However, that chaos lasted for a while, till Briseis had her best idea ever (or that’s what she said after) while Odysseus was telling her about Penelope’s false positive. The brown-haired girl, hearing that, shot up on her feet, and started screaming and slurring, nearly loosing her balance.

“that’s it, we all should try to take pregnancy tests! What a great fucking idea! I’m a motherfucking genius!”

And everyone agreed, because, what could be better than going in a 24/7 pharmacy and buy a bunch of pregnancy tests to try at 2am while completely wasted? Diomedes even asked to take something to eat because he was hungry, and Achilles with a not-so-sober-tone even added that he had always wanted to try one of them. Which man has never dreamed of taking a pregnancy test?

After shocking for the rest of his life a poor young pharmacist, who found himself witnessing seven males and one girl buying sixteen pregnancy tests (“two each” said Briseis “you always have to be sure they’re not false positives” as she was clearly not thinking that they were all males except for herself) at two am while completely drunk. Once they all got home, everyone sprinted to one of the six bathrooms of the house (thank Achilles and his “I fucking won the Olympics twice Patroclus, I deserve to live in a fucking castle with six bathrooms and seven bedrooms!”) leaving Odysseus and Patroclus to wait for their turns.

Once he was inside, Achilles did his business on both of the sticks, set a timer and started playing candy crush on his phone, sure of the result.  
But when the timer finished and his phone started ringing, he looked at the two tests and he could not believe what the result was. Sure, he had been throwing up after every meal for a few weeks, strong smells such as coffee bothered him, he always felt weird and tired, but there was no way he could be pregnant. He was a man for gods’ sake! He even had a penis to prove it! But the tests both said that he apparently was pregnant, and he couldn’t help but cry. What was truly happening to him? Did he have cancer?

He kept silently crying until he heard someone knocking on the door.

“Achilles? Move, I have to see if I’m pregnant!”

Patroclus’ slur was enough to send him over the edge, overwhelmed by all of his feelings and the alcohol, he couldn’t help but throw up everything he had drunk that night, as his husband rushed in to tie his hair in a ponytail.

Achilles did nothing to hide his red eyes, everyone was too out of their mind to notice anyway. He patiently waited till everyone went into their own room (he couldn’t risk his friends drunk driving, that’s why his and Patroclus’ home had more rooms than they would’ve ever needed), then he went in his own with his lover.

“No one’s pregnant, Achilles, or at least that’s what they said.”

The dark-skinned man started laughing, probably for nothing, before turning and kissing his beloved’s mouth whispering a soft “I love you”, before falling asleep.

The next day, Achilles woke up with a killer hangover and nausea well settled in his stomach, not sure if he wanted to get up or maybe try to get a little more sleep. His stomach made the decision for him, as he straightened up and started running toward the bathroom and vomiting everything in the toilet. Judging from the sounds he could hear from the other bathroom, he knew Patroclus was in there spilling his guts as well, and the others were probably already home.

Shakily, the blond boy leaned against the bath with his back, trying to steady his breath. He knew he wasn’t just vomiting because of his hangover, but also because of his mysterious flu that made a pregnancy test result positive the night before. Patroclus leaned against the doorframe.

“Man, I feel like shit.”

Achilles smiled at him. “There’s some Advil in that counter over there.”

After taking their aspirins, they started cleaning up the mess that was their home, until Patroclus found something in one of the bathrooms.

“Babe?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know if Briseis is pregnant? I found two positive tests over here.”

Achille froze. Of all the ways he thought about telling Patroclus, this was not the one. He quickly ran where Patroclus was. This was so messed up.

“They’re mine.”

“Achilles what the fuck are you s-“

“I panicked yesterday because I didn’t know what to do. I mean, I cannot be pregnant so I thought I had something very deadly and serious and I don’t want to die Patroclus.”

_Pa-tro-clus._

Achilles sobbed his name with such pain that he couldn’t help but hold him and promise him he’d take him to a doctor.

And they actually went to a doctor, who sent them to an oncologist (they both nearly fainted when they were first told), who sent them to a psychiatrist, who sent them to a gynecologist. That’s why they found themselves two weeks later on a find Monday morning in a studio full of pictures of vaginas with an actually pretty lady named dr. Eileithyia

“So Mr. Pelides-Moenetiades, you were telling me that in the last three weeks you’ve suffered of nausea and vomit, general tiredness and weakness?”

Achilles nodded “Please, just call me Achilles”

The doctor moved to take some ERs wrapped in some papers and showed them to the young couple.

“See that thing over here? That thing is your uterus, Achilles, that is very capable of carrying children, indeed I have every reason to believe that you’re carrying one right now.”

Patroclus’ head started spinning as he looked at their doctor like she had three heads. Achilles was the one who managed to talk.

“Excuse me, I have a what that is capable of doing what and I am what?”

Patroclus passed out.

“Achilles, you have a uterus that is perfectly capable of carrying children, as you are right as we speak two months and a half pregnant.”

  
The dark-haired man slowly came to his senses again, the room wasn’t spinning anymore, so he stood up just as he heard the doctor’s words again. He didn’t even have the chance to speak as Achilles turned to look at him, and if looks could kill, Patroclus would’ve already been dead.

“I fucking told you a thousand times that I should be the top, but no, you like the feeling of my ass around your fucking d- “

“We’re having a baby. A-a fucking baby.”

Achilles smiled at him, tears forming in his eyes. They had often dreamed of having kids, even in their previous lives, but they never had the chance to actually have one. And now they were going to have their own little family. They both could already picture a kid, with Achilles’ eyes and Patroclus’ hair running through their home, bringing joy to their lives.

“But I really must warn you, Achilles. You may have a uterus, but it doesn’t mean you were made to give birth and actually carry children. You have the body structure of a man, and you’re incompatible with the fetus, which basically means that your body will try to fight against your baby, who will try to fight against you. I would consider abortion, if I were in you, and then trying to adopt another kid.”

With that, their dreams were completely crushed, their imaginary baby with their features was slowly vanishing into thin air. Patroclus opened his mouth to speak, but Achilles stopped him with a movement of his hand. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his husband to speak, but he truly needed an answer to the question that was burning in his throat and gathering tears at the corners of his eyes.

“What if we decided to keep it?”

“If you decide to keep it, your body will become weaker and weaker, to the point that you won’t be able to do more than five steps in a row without passing out. You won’t be able to keep anything down, like it’s already happening, am I right?”

Achilles nodded, she was right. He was vomiting after every meal, and his _philtatos_ was sure that he had lost a few kilos.

“Your blood vessels will become very fragile, so you’ll bruise very easily. You’ll become really thin, your hair and nails will break, you’ll always feel cold and you could actually die while giving birth. But if you decide to keep it, I, as a doctor, will try everything that I can to help you, and your baby survive.”

After the check-up they got home, both sad.

“You really meant that?”

“What?”

“That you want to keep this baby.”

As they sat in front of each other at the opposites of their lunch table Patroclus couldn’t help but wonder. Was this kid really worth it? They could easily adopt one, why couldn’t Achilles understand it? How was Patroclus meant to survive with their baby but without Achilles, his sun? How could Patroclus manage to see Achilles dying everyday a little more because of their kid and still managing not to hate it?

“I want to keep this baby Patroclus. I know that it could kill me, but he’s in me. He’s growing inside of me. H-how am I supposed to kill it?”

How could Achilles be so selfish? That thing didn’t even have organs in that moment, it was just some cells cuddling together (Patroclus thanked his med school for his knowledge of this)

“How can you be so selfish Achilles? That thing you have inside isn’t even a baby, it’s just some cells that are threatening to fucking kill you!”

Patroclus sobbed his words, and Achilles put protectively a hand around his stomach as water started raining down from his eyes. And he screamed till his throat actually started burning and he thought it could actually fall, he had never been as good as Patroclus at controlling his rage.

“I am stronger than what I look, _mou therapon_, you know I was once a demigod for fuck’s sake. Are you sure I am the one being selfish here? This is our fucking baby Patroclus! We created it, we dreamed of it so many times thinking it was impossible to have it, and now that we could actually have it, what do you do? You don’t want it? I surely as hell don’t want to die. But this kid did nothing to die, and it is our duty as parents to protect it, even if it costs our lives!”

Achilles was fully sobbing, making the most heartbreaking sounds ever, he was actually choking on his own tears. And that’s when Patroclus realized. This wasn’t about them, it was about their kid. The symbol of their love and union. The most innocent thing in the whole world. How could he even think about killing it? This was their baby, and in that moment, as he hugged a broken Achilles and slowly sat on the ground while holding him in his arms rocking him softly to calm him down, he swore to himself that he would have made everything he could to make sure that the two people most important in his life were safe.

“Okay.” He whispered “We’re gonna make it. I promise you. Nothing could ever hurt you and our baby okay?” Achilles nodded while still crying and Patroclus put his hand on his lover’s stomach. “I promise you, you’re going to see our kid’s wedding, okay? We’re gonna get through this. I love you so much, Achilles.”

"I'm scared Patroclus, I don't want to die"

The future doctor placed a kiss on his husband’s forehead, listening to rest of his phrase

“And I love you too, _mou philtatos_.”

Now, their problem was another:

_How the fuck were they going to tell their parents and friends?!_

**Author's Note:**

> so im not a doctor and I don't know if this can actually happen but for the sake of this story we're going to pretend it's possible :::::)))))
> 
> yeah its highly inspired by twilight
> 
> hope u enjoyed this story! leave feedback please <333


End file.
